Education in Values and Spirituality :: Meditation and Values

Module 5 Unit 3 - Emotional Maturity

Emotional maturity means to understand the power of people, places and things to affect you adversely and to minimise their destabilising influences. Neutrality in the face of different provocations allows you to maintain inner stability and turn to the inner dimension more easily. Emotional maturity develops as you come to terms with the amount and quality of meditation required for you to sustain positive thoughts. Emotional maturity gives you the capacity to manage feelings. You have the inner resilience to handle even big calamities, disasters and shocks. You are clear and proactive in your thinking. You are still and introverted, and able to make good decisions about what to do next.

Emotional maturity is an attitude which looks beyond character defects, recognising that dwelling on others’ defects causes you to absorb them. Emotional maturity implies dignity, patience and far-sightedness. You know your value independently of appreciation or praise. You remain cheerful, respectful and affable with elders, peers and juniors. It means to be discreet, and to have a good understanding of the ways of the world and the ways of people. You are internally stable and observe events with detachment. Emotional maturity ensures your contact with the subtle reality which is a stable and spiritual counterpoint to the positive/negative ups and downs of the reality of sense perceptions.

You have the determination to do what you want to do regardless of obstacles or hurdles. You are attentive to your character and moral philosophy and live according to the ethical policies you have set for yourself.

Many situations prevent the emotional and psychological development of an individual from childhood onwards. Some are circumstances such as illness, parental divorce, the illness or death of a parent during your childhood, parental neglect or abuse, and a dysfunctional family environment exacerbated by domestic violence and the use and abuse of alcohol. Most social science studies indicate prevalence of these problems throughout the world in all social classes regardless of educational or economic levels. Reactive coping mechanisms block the normal emotional maturing of a child and in adult life they take the form of character defects. In adult life the same negative experiences usually have a different impact. They are endurable blows that have the potential to neutralise illusions commonly developed during childhood.

Emotional immaturity is often camouflaged by abnormal achievements, external successes and talents that obscure deep-seated feelings of insecurity. An emotionally immature person finds it too painful to face their sense of inner fragility and creates masks to hide it from themselves and from others. Immaturity is indicated by over-sensitivity and a prolific creation of negative feelings such as uneasiness, insecurity, fear and confusion. Emotional immaturity is also seen in mood swings and expressions of anti-values. It means to be bound mentally to negative feelings.

Through meditation you can strengthen yourself, and become flexible, tough and broad-minded. You cultivate the power of tolerance and are unaffected by various forms of provocation. As a mature individual you look for win-win situations and seek to maintain good relations with others. You interact with self-respect and determination, hard work and well developed skills. The results of your efforts endure and increase in value over time. Contemplative inner stillness calms your mind and you develop greater self-respect. Introspection lets you find the deeper, authentic part of yourself. Once you see this, the feelings of insufficiency which arise from spiritual depletion lessen because you develop power from within.